How to shop with your woman
Anya Hindmarch bags, Prada shoes, Cartier diamonds, Louboutin heels, Jimmy Choo sandals, outfits by Armani and Max Mara. If you want to shop with a woman, you need to learn these names and more. You need to slow down and enjoy the protracted pace of shopping, where looking, touching and trying is as important as buying.
Anya Hindmarch's boutique in Bond Street, London
Don't judge your woman's likes and tastes. You might be a guy who loves shopping for hardware, electrical toys or cars but you think shopping with a woman for outfits and accessories is the pits of boredom. You have to lose that attitude. You need to look at and appreciate women's shoes with the same enthusiasm you have for power tools and gadgets.
Never rush your woman: Your woman steps into Anya Hindmarch's boutique on Bond Street, London. She picks up a beautiful purse. This is pretty,
she says. You are not supposed to reply, Yeah, it's great, buy it.
That purse is one of many you will look at throughout the day. That purse needs to be put in the context of other purses in terms of price, quality, how it matches with outfits and your woman's temperament and mood, whether it has that have-to-have-it
factor.
You will annoy your woman no end if you tell her to buy every item she looks at. When you say, Love it, buy it
, your woman hears, I'm bored, let's get out of here
.
Hide your boredom: Shopping for handbags might feel like slow death to you, but there's no need to show it. Camouflage your lack of interest. Instead, enjoy the fact that your woman is having fun and you are there to share her pleasure.
Think of the bigger picture: You love your woman to look good. Great outfits and accessories make a woman feel attractive and desirable. Looking good takes time and effort. Shopping is one of the prices you must pay for your woman looking great and feeling sexy. Be thankful that your lover cares about her appearance. You wouldn't want a spouse, lover, or partner who buys her outfits at Wal-Mart or Asda.
Don't slouch on the nearest couch: Department stores and designer boutiques are packed with guys sitting on sofas and couches staring at the floor. These guys have given up. After 10 stores, they can't take it anymore; their feet ache, their boredom threshold has been reached. They know they need to be with their woman but they can no longer traipse from clothes rack to clothes rack, fitting room to fitting room.
You can see the defeat in the eyes. Occasionally they'll look up to meet another man's sorry glance, the nod from a fellow male that says, I feel for you, buddy. My pain is yours
.
You must not be one of those men. Accompany your lady, stand by each rack of clothes, and outside the fitting room with armfuls of outfits as your woman tries each one. Never let your patience or enthusiasm waver.
Keep sarcastic, cutting remarks to yourself: Your lady does not want to hear you say, That outfit looks just like the one you tried two hours ago
.
Your remarks should be encouraging and flattering, letting your lady know she looks great and has all the time in the world to choose what she wants.
Prada in London's exclusive Bond Street
Always encourage when asked for an opinion: Your woman might pick up a dress, hold it in front of her and say, This makes me look fat
.
Your job is not to agree with her, nor even mention the word fat. You're meant to say, Baby, you look fantastic.
If you hate the outfit, access your brain's hard drive and refer to other outfits you know she liked. That green dress at Prada was prettier. We need to take another look at that. You'd look even more fantastic in that.
Don't hang around outside the store: So many guys tell their women they'll wait outside the store. They then stand propping up a wall watching other women walk by.
That's no good. Although a woman might prefer a bored guy to wait outside rather than bug her in the store, the best solution is to accompany your lady and stay interested.
Remember, your shopping shift will rarely last longer that eight hours. If you can hold down a job, you can shop for eight hours.
Don't cast longing glances at the exit while your lady is looking at outfits. Her radar will tell her you're losing focus and she'll feel stressed and unhappy.
A woman who's shopping does not want to have to deal with a boyfriend's moods or boredom. She doesn't want a fight. She doesn't want to have to give up and go home because you are making her life a misery. Get into her world and enjoy it.
You don't need to pay for everything your woman wants to buy but you should offer to pay for some items. When a woman says, I love these shoes but they are so expensive
, you are being invited to pay. Make sure there's enough spending power on your card, bite the bullet and buy those $500 Jimmy Choo high heels. She'll love them, love you, and look great in them. Once you've paid for those shoes, you don't need to pay for anything more that day.
Take your woman's insecurities seriously: Women are judged by their appearance all the time. The first things a man pays attention to about a woman are her face, her body, her clothes. Women pay close attention to how other women dress, what shoes they wear, whether the colors they are wearing are right
for them.
This places enormous pressure on a woman and can create uncertainty and insecurity. Your woman might believe her feet are too big, her butt too round, her boobs too small, her legs too skinny. You have to tread very carefully when your woman's insecurities surface.
You mustn't brush them aside by saying, Don't be silly, you look great
because that shows you're not listening and you don't take her seriously. Nor should you say things like, You feet aren't that big. If you want to see huge feet you should take a look at my sister's.
Whatever negative words she uses to describe herself, don't repeat them. Employ strategic silence, or encourage her, telling her she looks great, fantastic, sexy. Don't look at whatever body part she is describing as huge because she'll think you're taking a mental measurement and are making comparison.
If you are totally at your wit's end and can't go on, don't give up. Think in terms of a timeout. Tell your sweetheart, Baby, I saw a Starbucks just round the corner. Let's get a coffee and a bit to eat. I really want to talk to you about some of these great outfits we've been looking at.
A woman will not mind a short break for coffee or lunch. But this does not give you the right to barge into the nearest bar and hose down half a dozen beers. No, think coffee, think bottled water, a light lunch, a healthy snack. Pubs and bars are a man's world. A women will know what you're doing if you attempt to steer her towards the nearest happy-hour emporium.
Keep your focus on your woman. The more exclusive the boutique, the classier and sexier are the women. It is very easy to let your eyes and mind wander. You might be in Prada in London or New York, a stunning, long-limbed model will entourage will enter. Your jaw will drop and you'll start imagining you're the guy who gets to live with that woman.
Meanwhile, your lady is watching you. What she's seeing is a cavemen responding to a lump of flesh. She'll feel hurt and angry, vulnerable and abandoned.
When shopping with your lady you must focus on her. Don't say things like, Wow, did you see that woman over there, she's gorgeous
. That tells your woman she's not gorgeous, or slim, or sexy, or desirable.
Your lady might even try to trick you by asking, Did you see that woman? I think she's a famous model.
Keep your wits about you and answer, Sorry baby, I missed it, I was too busy looking at that outfit that is so perfect for you.
By Tiffers von Tien