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David Duchovny, hypersexual behavior, and what happens when sex addicts marry

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What happens when two people with high sex drives meet and marry? Can they satisfy each other, or will their urge for sexual adventure bring their marriage to an end? Can sex addicts ever be faithful or are they doomed to repeat a destructive cycle of unfaithfulness? We talk to two sex addicts, Rob and Kate, who are working hard to make their marriage work.

ROB'S STORY: Other people have called me a sex addict, but I don't think of myself that way. I have high sex drive, I'm hypersexual and I can stay out of trouble so long as I remain in relationships where my behavior is understood and accepted.

I have loved many women whose sex drive did not match my own and I quickly found myself

incredibly dissatisfied. I need to have sex everyday. It doesn't need to be fancy or time-consuming each time but I do need daily sex with my woman. If I don't get it, I feel restless and unmotivated, and I start to look at other women, and they look at me.

There are plenty of women out there with high sex drive -- all those unfaithful married men are having sex with someone aren't they? Most of them are married women. It has never been a problem for me to connect with women who want a relationship built on satisfying sex.

I think about sex all the time. It's probably the most important part of my relationship with women. I've been involved with women with plenty of money and it would have made financial sense to stick with them, but the sex was no good so I had to leave.

I'd rather be with a poor woman who loves sex and appreciates how important it is to me. A good sex life is worth millions of dollars as I see it.

Love is a human right

There's an idea that people with high sex drive can't be faithful because they are constantly hunting for the next sexual fix. But that's misleading. I've had relationships that have lasted with women whose drive matched my own, who loved to experiment, needed frequent sex, loved being treated as a sex object from time to time, who liked sexual role play, dirty talk, and who loved having sex wherever we were, in the car, out of doors, in any room or space, even on trains and planes.

Kate is perfect for me. She's the most highly sexed woman I have ever met. If I am away on business trips, we connect by instant messenger and webcam and we talk dirty, I watch her playing with her dildo, telling me how much she misses my c--k. 

She demands I have have sex with her at least once a day. Sometimes we can make love for hours and hours, other times it's a quickie in our basement garage or on a nearby beach.

Colors of pride

I've been married to Kate for five years and although there have been opportunities to have sex with other women, I have remained loyal. Sex with Kate is so good, I owe it to her to behave. 

If she ever strayed, I would be sad but I know how hard it is for people like us to stay on the straight and narrow.

I believe in our marriage. We are two sex freaks who have found each other.

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KATE'S STORY: A woman with high sex drive has to be very careful. Highly sexed guys are praised for their virility but a woman who loves sex is often called a slut, a tramp or a whore.

A gal who loves to f--k needs to make sure she finds guys who understand her needs and can satisfy her. There are so many guys out there who think they are studs but they only need it once or twice a week and they have no staying power.

They don't know how to pleasure a woman. They think sex is all

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about satisfying their own needs, you know, putting their thing in the woman, moving in and out, then collapsing in a heap: "Was that good for you, baby?" Are you kidding, it was terrible!

A lover needs to know how to use his fingers, his tongue, he needs to do more with his c--k than just put it in and jiggle it a bit. He has to use it like a magic wand, exploring his woman's body with it, teasing her,

giving it to her good when she's ready for it. He's gotta be able to build up the atmosphere, get his woman wet and ready. He's got to have confidence in himself, in his body, his c--k. He needs to know how to use that thing.

A woman's orgasm is very important, yet so few guys can make a woman come. It's no great mystery, you need time and patience, you need to coax and encourage your woman. A guy needs to postpone his own desire to ejaculate. It works really well if the woman cums first, then the guy can pretty much do what he wants with her after that. She'll give him anything.

If a woman gets regular orgasms, she pretty much belongs to her guy for life. She ain't going nowhere if he can make her cum. She knows how rare and valuable that is.

I have found a guy like that in Rob. He knows what he wants. He knows how to give and take. He keeps it fresh, alive, and exciting. He puts sex first in our relationship. He wants to satisfy me and he knows how incredibly difficult I am to satisfy. He takes on the task willingly. He's amazing.


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