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Marry an American woman, live the American dream [Indian women are the most beautiful in the world] This advice is aimed at people wanting legal status to live and work in the West. We do not offer any advice, nor do we condone, those wishing to move to the west in order to live there illegally. The best, and only, status for you and your family to acquire is legal, so that you are free to come and go as you like, with the authorities on your side, not against you. Benson Owusu explains in 10 steps how to fall in love and find a Western wife.
Let's start by assuming you are in America, Sweden, France, Canada, etc, and you want to stay long term with legal status as the husband of a Western woman. How do you go about finding a wife, what do you need to do to conform to the Western standards of "falling in love", and how do you find women with the financial clout and decision-making power to help you? Romantic love: The first thing you need to understand and master is the idea of romantic love. As a concept it's not that old, but it has become the main reason, or explanation, for Westerners to marry. It's not true for every couple; it does not explain the many young and beautiful women who marry old men. In those cases, it's not romantic love, but marriage for fame, power and money. But generally in the West, if you are going to marry a woman you need to be in love with her. You may well be familiar with the overwhelming emotions of being in love: your entire day is disturbed; you cannot eat and sleep properly; you think only of your loved one; you are perfectly happy when you are together and miserable when apart. The loved one is more special to you than anyone else in the world: you overlook all her faults, or you believe she has no faults. This period of being love does not last very long, a few months in most cases. It is replaced by a phase of friendship and cooperation, which is much more practical and productive than crazed infatuation. Nevertheless, if a Western woman is going to marry you, she needs to feel you are in love with her, at least initially. If you do not truly love her, you must behave as though you do. In other words, you must treat the woman as though your entire world revolves around her. Send her flowers, tell her you love her at least six times a day. Say there is no other woman like her in the world. Say you admire her taste in clothes, in television shows and movies, in food. Tell her you admire and respect her lifestyle. All of these compliments must come across as genuine and heartfelt. Even if you feel foolish, say them as though you truly mean them. The woman wants to sense that you cannot live without her. But don't overdo it. There is a balancing act to be performed. Don't stalk the woman, don't camp outside her house, don't call or email too often. It can even help not to contact her for a day or so, making her wonder whether you still love her. If you are able to play the game of romantic love well enough, you will have hooked your woman. Individualism: In America especially, you have to learn the game of individualism. In its finest expression it means you are free to start a business of your choosing without being hounded by the authorities or crooks wanting backhanders and protection money. In the West, you are free to provide a product or service, and the public is free to purchase it or not. Another fine expression of individualism is that you are free, within some limits, to think and speak as you wish. If you think the president is a fool, you are entitled to think that, but you should be careful about broadcasting the news. Americans will not like a foreigner rubbishing their president. They will think you are ungrateful -- after all, you are a guest in their country. There are a few foolish expressions of individualism which are taken quite seriously by many Americans and other Westerners. Some people will tell you that no one person's ideas are any more valuable than another person's, even if the opinion is obviously wrong or idiotic. Someone might announce at a social gathering "In my opinion, Paris Hilton is the most brilliant woman in California" or "Susan Boyle sings better than Pavarotti". These are obviously silly opinions, but the person is entitled to utter them, in fact they are encouraged to do so. (It can be difficult to tell the difference between individualism and selfishness. In the West, it is common for people to neglect their parents so that they can buy a new car or some other plaything. It is also possible for parents to neglect their children in order to pursue their own selfish desires.) Materialism: In the West there is a strong belief that buying things makes you happy. You must learn this way of thinking so that it becomes second nature to you. Your Western woman will adore you if you buy her things, none of which needs to be useful. Your objective is to express your love for her by purchasing items she would not normally buy. She will judge your character and suitability by your material possessions. She will not be impressed if you drive an old car, live in a troubled part of town, work in a lowly job for little money. But she will tolerate this for a while if she sees that you aspire to earn more and buy more. You will then be called ambitious, which is considered an excellent quality. Family: Westerners can appear uncaring about their families. When their children are 18 or so, they leave home, returning only once or twice a year for holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, they do continue to be an economic burden throughout their parents' lives. If a child makes foolish choices leaving them penniless, the parents are expected to bail them out. When parents are too old to work, they will not move in with their children to be cared for, but will be shipped off to something called a "residential home", or "assisted living", or a "retirement home". There, people are paid to feed your parents, clean their apartment, and organize activities such as card games and trips to the zoo. You, as their child, are only expected to visit a couple of times a year, and you don't have to stay long. When you are dating a Western woman, you are not expected to take her mother along with you on day trips. You might think you should invite her parents to a restaurant, you might, as a good person, feel a strong need to help them, but you are not required to do so. Parents live their own lives in the West. Take a casual interest in your lady friend's parents, but do not interfere in their lives. Sex: In the West you must learn to think about sex as you would think about anything else. It is not a taboo subject. In fact, it is a subject on everyone's lips, on every television channel, and in every Hollywood film. However, this does not mean that people are having a lot of sex, nor that they are enjoying it. A common problem in the West is that women, especially married and middle-aged women, are very unhappy with their sex lives. Husbands work so hard and are so exhausted when they come home that they would rather drink alcohol and watch television than make love to their wives or partners. Here is your opportunity as a non-Western man to show your woman you can give her the sexual satisfaction she craves. If you have frequent sex with your woman, attending to her needs, satisfying her desires, some of which might seem odd, she will not be able to leave you. Give her sex as though it is a basic human right, tell her you love her, tell her she "turns you on", and all will be well. Community: Of all the Western countries, America prizes community the most. By community they do not mean the extended family, nor even their residential neighborhoods. The term is used most often to mean their Christian church community, where they gather with like-minded people to worship their God. These churches are excellent places to meet women, many of whom are wealthy but also lonely and unhappy. You should aim to be the romantic focus of their lives, which entails agreeing with their their religious views. This is not such a difficult thing to do. Many immigrants have abandoned their religion and culture in order to progress in their new country. The governor of the state of Louisiana, an Indian gentleman called Bobby Jindal, abandoned his Hindu faith and became a Christian in order to climb the ladder of public office. No one knows what beliefs he holds in his heart, but outwardly he is a very staunch Christian with the type of rigid views that are loved in the southern States. When you join a church, don't just choose the nearest one to your home, which is likely to be poor and shabby, with many drug addicts and unemployed people as members. Be selective, even if it means traveling a little. The best churches to join are the more affluent ones in the white suburbs, where the houses are big and the cars new. You will be welcomed so long as you dress smartly, don't criticize people, and take a keen interest in their activities such as choir practice and Bible study. You are not really expected to know the Bible. These so-called study activities are simply opportunities to get to know each other and pry into each other's lives. Ask reasonable questions, agree with people, and have a few short anecdotes up your sleeve, but nothing that employs long names or demands a knowledge of geography. Bible study and other classes, often held in the evening, are an excellent opportunity for you to tell a dramatic story about your family's life of struggle and poverty. If you embroider your story convincingly without appearing to be desperate or a beggar, the church will probably start raising money to help you and your kith and kin. Never ask for money directly. You must appear proud and dignified, as though you would never dream of taking someone else's money. Wait until you are offered help, then accept it graciously, promising to pay it back at the first opportunity. Language and accent: Many Westerners find it difficult to understand accents that are not similar to their own. As an Indian, Pakistani, Nigerian, or Ugandan, you might well have learned the "Queen's English", which is perfect in every way. But still, an average American is unlikely to understand you. Try your very best to pronounce words in the way that local people say them. If you are living in Iowa, speak like an Iowan. If you are in Texas, learn to drawl. Your progress in life will be slowed if people cannot understand what you are saying. The woman you are wooing will not feel terribly romantic if she constantly has to say "Pardon" or "Say what?" to your every utterance. This is not a simple matter. Even simple sentences such as "I would like a glass of water" will not be understood if the person is not familiar with foreign or regional accents. In my early days in America, I once told my female companion, "I need new tires for my car". She heard it as: "I watched a fire in a bar". "Why did you watch the fire?" she asked. "Why didn't you call 911?" It can be very frustrating if you are constantly misunderstood, even by uneducated people serving you burgers who look at you as though you have just crawled out from under a rock. Don't worry, be patient. Spend time listening to the locals and practice speaking as they do. Clothing: Most Westerners are extremely intimidated by clothing that does not look like their own. You must learn to wear blue jeans (usually just called jeans) and training shoes (often called sneakers). You will often be called on to wear suits and ties, with which you might be familiar from your home country. If you wear Western clothes around Westerners, they will trust you more. You will not be seen as threatening. Remember, too, the woman you are aiming to court and marry will not want eyes staring at her because she is with a man dressed in the tribal garb of his clan, country, or region. Western clothing is often extremely bland. Resist the urge to express yourself with bold colors. Dress in blue, gray, black, and brown. Always aim to be casual and yet smart. Your goal is to be just a bit more presentable than the average Westerner you see on the street, in the bank, or at church. Food: It is very likely that your woman will be unable to cook. Don't despair. Westerners, especially Americans, spend much of their lives in restaurants, pizza parlors, and fast food joints. Just go along with these habits, but be careful about eating too much of their "junk" food because you will become very fat very quickly. Women looking for a man friend or lover prefer their man to be in shape, i.e. not obese. You must not insist that your Western woman learn to cook the food from your village or country. Take an interest in Western cooking. It is often bland, very often no good for you, but learn to eat it. If you are seen to enjoy the local food, burgers, steaks, pizza, bits of meat on bread, you will be liked and trusted. Food, even bad food, brings people together and builds community spirit. Customs, habits, traditions: Inevitably, Westerners will view your customs and traditions with suspicion. You might even be accused of being primitive. Don't worry. Keep what is dear to you in your heart, while outwardly becoming an expert in Western traditions. This is how immigrants and refugees have survived and thrived for generations. Learn the habit of sending out "Thank You" cards after you have been invited to dinner or a social gathering. Teach yourself the basic rules of American football. Attempt to become enlivened by the prospect of Thanksgiving, Easter, July Fourth, and Christmas. If you are asked to attend church fundraisers, do so enthusiastically. If your lady friend invites you to watch her friends sing in a church hall, tell her you would love to attend. Even if the signing is awful, say that it was incredibly moving. Unless you are asked, don't burden your hosts with stories of your village, your clan, tribe, regional habits, or nation's religious ceremonies. Most of this will be shocking to Westerners. They don't want to hear how you slaughter a goat in order to celebrate a happy event. And they will be horrified if you tell them that a cow or bull is killed before a wedding ceremony can take place. If you are pushed to tell a story, keep it very short and simple. Don't complicate matters with too much detail. The Western mind is impatient. It will often move to the next subject while you are busy formulating your answer to a previous question. These are the 10 rules of how to make yourself desirable to a Western woman. Allow yourself to fall in love with her and she will fall in love with you in return. Pursue her with delicate, sensitive charm. Be an animal in bed and a gentleman in public. Don't ask her for money or favors. Wait until she offers them. Learn her language, speak as she does, go to her church, eat her food, tell her it's marvelous. Shower her with compliments, and dress and behave like a Western man -- yet retain some flourishes of exotic behavior, which she will find appealing in small doses. Good luck to you in finding your Western bride! by Benson Owusu
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You might be working your fingers to the bone for $10 a week as a tuna fisherman in Indonesia, you might be teaching in Africa for $100 a month, or you might be in a high-tech job in India for a $500 month. Wherever you are, you could earn much more in the West. Why work endless hours for little money when you could be earning 10 to 100 times as much in Europe or America for less than half the effort? First you have to get to the West, then you have to find a way to stay there. The best way to stay? Marry a western woman. Benson Owusu explains how in 10 steps.
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