Why do married people cheat on their husbands and wives

Open Source Lifestyles Why husbands and wives cheat on each other

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10 reasons to cheat

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We talk to 10 married people about why they have cheated on their wife or husband. There is no one reason why people cheat. Most people feel guilty about cheating, they know it is not right but they cannot stop themselves. A small number of cheats feel no remorse until they are caught and confronted with their unfaithfulness.

Bill, 52, Chicago: I cheated because I had the opportunity to do so. I love my wife, I have never wanted to leave her, but that did not stop me cheating.

I met a very attractive woman at a conference and we had sex the evening we meet. Our relationship lasted nearly a year. For me, it was all about sex, nothing more.

I had to lie a lot to keep the relationship going. I told my lover what she wanted to hear, that I had problems with my wife and was going to leave her. I had no plans to leave my wife but I said I would so that my lover would keep having sex with me. I regret the many lies I had to tell my wife. I don't regret the affair because it was really fantastic while it lasted. My lover left me because she knew I would never leave my wife.

Kathy, 44, Salt Lake City: I cheated on my husband when he got really fat. Sex with him was just not enjoyable anymore. He was so huge compared to me, I'm 110 pounds and he's over 200 pounds. That weight difference made me avoid having sex with him as much as possible.

I met a really cute guy at the gym who turned me on. It wasn't a difficult decision to have sex with him because my body was crying out for it. I didn't feel bad about it. In a way, I felt my husband deserved it for letting himself get so out of shape.

Ben, 37, London: I cheated on my wife when I finally accepted that I am gay. Up until then I had lived a lie. I tried to be happy, I really tried to please my wife but it didn't work. Women do not turn me on. My regrets are that I hurt my wife and that it took me so long to accept my own sexuality.

Jennifer, 55, Chicago: I was unfaithful one time when I found out my husband had cheated on me. I slept with a friend's husband. We had always been close friends with good energy between us. It wasn't difficult to take the extra steps and sleep together. I can't say I enjoyed it. The sex was short and unsatisfying. Both of us felt guilty afterwards. It didn't help me and I didn't tell my husband.

Anders, 38, Ottawa: I have cheated on my wife for the past two years with a woman I dated before I met my wife. I love my wife but my girlfriend and I have an agreement that works for both us. She doesn't want me to leave my wife. She places no demands on me. It isn't heavy at all. I love knowing a woman who is so open about sex and her own needs. It makes sex much more enjoyable when it is not complicated.

Olivia, 59, Kansas City: I made the decision to make love to another man when my husband lost confidence as a result of erection issues. He couldn't get a hard on, he felt ashamed, then he neglected me, even though I only needed to be held, and kissed. I wouldn't have minded if he had used his imagination, his tongue and fingers. But he felt his sexual life was over when he couldn't keep a good erection. He stopped looking at me, didn't touch me. I met a man my own age, a dear friend. I explained my problem to him and he was happy to help to me.

Meredith, 32, Austin: I cheat because I get a kick out of it. I'd feel guilty if my boyfriend found out, but I don't think he will.

I'm a singer, I meet guys in clubs and bars. It's so easy, so many guys want sex with a performer. I can pretty much pick and choose. I can't say no to the temptation.

When you've performed you are on such a high that sex is a great outlet, it releases all the tension.

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Phil, 47, Macon: I'm into bondage, my wife isn't. She hates it. I've met a few people online who are into the same stuff as I am, nothing extreme: leather, chains, whips, restraints, that kind of thing. The game turns me on.

There is no way my wife would let me use restraints on her. I have tried to explain why I like this scene but it turns my wife off. She worries about it, she worries about me. I have sex with like-minded people. My wife doesn't know and I am not about to tell her.

Alison, 56, Pittsburgh: I was very happily married, no problems at all, life was good. I had nothing to complain about. Then I met a man I fell in love with almost immediately and my entire world was turned upside down. Things that used to be important

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to me were no longer important. I saw the world through totally different eyes. I saw how I had sacrificed so much in order for my husband to pursue his career. That made me mad. I stayed married for a while, lived a double life, then I couldn't take it anymore and left my husband and married my lover.

Jamal, 44, Camden: I got drunk at a party, I met a woman, she was drunk too. We got a room and had sex. I regretted it straight away. I felt so bad about myself. That's not who I am. I adore my wife, our life is great. We have great sex.

I told my wife what I had done, she was devastated, but she could see I had big regrets and wanted to make amends. She made me tell my pastor and go into counseling. I thought it was unnecessary but I did it for her. My wife forgave me but she said it was my one and only chance to stray. If I do it again, she'll leave me.

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To find out why men and women cheat, we asked 10 married people to explain as simply as possible why they have cheated. Some have been unfaithful only once, others a couple of times, and some have cheated repeatedly. Most regret cheating and feel guilty, others have no remorse.