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Help women with fitness & loneliness
My name is Kolo but people in America have trouble with that name. They call me Cola. So I tell them my name is Adam. I like the name Adam, and it represents the first male.
One thing I learned about America is that it is very hard as an African to find a good job with good money. You can be a qualified doctor in your country, but in America you will get a job driving a taxi or delivering mail. That is how the system works. It is an African story understood by every African.
Time to study
Anyway, it is no problem. A mail man in America works much less than a doctor in Africa and he earns much more. If you do a basic job in America, there is plenty of time for study, or you can do like most of your brothers here and work two, three, or four jobs. Even in this recession it is very easy to find work.
Something else I found out about America is that it is full of lonely people. All of America is lonely. Men, and women, and all their children are lonely and neglected. People do not look after each other. People do not seem to care for each other, not in a way we understand.
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However, you can see the non-caring nature of America not as providing possibilities, as a money-making opportunity.
I am able to spot opportunity on every corner during every minute of the day. America is all about money. If you are able to identify the needs people have, you can make money even while you sleep.
Cunning plan
I looked at the loneliness in America and decided to make it my opportunity. To put it another way, I was going to help people with their loneliness, and then because I helped them, they would pay me. That was my cunning plan.
I have always loved women, so I decided to help women with their very special kind of loneliness. You see, so many women in America are not getting the loving they need. They are not satsified at all with their lives or with their husbands.
Unhappy women
Women in America are unhappy because their men neglect them. The husbands are so busy making money and driving here and there and buying all manner of things that they forget they have a woman at home who needs to be loved and appreciated.
That is where I come into the picture. That is where I provide a service. And this is where I can help you.
First of all, you have to identify your target. This is easy. We target white women. This is not a racist statement. We are not racists. It is a statement of financial and sociological fact that white women in America are the most wealthy and the most neglected. Wealthy white women are the ones with the most urgent need for our services.
Maximum reward
When our clients are rich white women, we make most money for least effort. We all know we should not direct our attention at our sisters in the African American community because they will just give us hardships and headaches. We adore our sisters, but they are so headstrong they cannot help us in our money-making task.
A fact about white women in America is they are fascinated by black men, but at the same time they are very afraid of us. They wrongly associate us with crime, violence, too much physical strength, and too much animal spirit. They even think we are too loud, even though we are simply expressing our joy of life through laughter and encouraging words.
A challenge we face is to tone down the things that frighten women and to increase the volume on the things they like and want.
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Loving attitude
It is vital to have a loving, caring attitude. This is not difficult for us because back home we care about each other. It is almost illegal to be lonely in Africa. No one is lonely. Even paupers and madmen have friends. In America, all you have to do is focus your caring on the woman you are with.
A big problem we face is that American people in general do not understand our African English. We have been speaking Queen's English all our lives, but Americans do not understand it.
American accent
So, my friends and brothers, I recommend you to acquire an American accent. This is very easy. Just listen to movies and make yourself sound like the actors on the screen.
Americans are very pre-occupied with material things. You will be judged by the number of new things you own, the most important of which is a car. You will never win a rich woman's heart if you ride the bus. You must work hard for a while so you can buy a decent car. It does not have to be new, but it must look new.
Rules of engagment
- Speak perfect English with an American accent
- Dress immaculately
- Drive a good car
- Be caring and attentive
- Never ask for money
- Do not be the first to suggest an intimate relationship
- Never neglect your clients
- Always be professional, even in your own time
- Do not speak badly about anybody
- Invest your money wisely
Certification as a personal trainer: You need a high school diploma, must be certified in cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and Automated External Defibrillator (AED), and pass a basic exam.
It is very important how you dress. We must not follow the example of so many African-American men with this thing called hip-hop style, which consists of big caps worn the wrong way, baggy trousers, and huge t-shirts. That style of clothing is for boys, not men.
Dress stylishly
We must learn to dress stylishy. Our shoes must always be shiny. Our suits must be of good quality, with cotton shorts, and silk ties.
The next question is how to locate the women you will help.
We first establish some basic facts to help us in this pursuit. First, American women are very concerned about their weight, their bodies, and about growing old.
As a result, many of them spend hours and hours in the gym or at the YMCA running on treadmills, swimming, and lifting metal weights. These places are very good venues for meeting women.
Desirable physique
Most of us Africans do not have to train very hard to run faster than any American. When we do train, we can actually win races for big money. But we do not have to compete at that level. We simply need to acquire a level of fitness and a physique that women will admire.
The next step is either to hang out in these training establishments or, if possible, to gain employment there. It is quite easy to become a personal trainer, much easier than taking a degree or learning a difficult subject. You need to attend some courses, get some first aid certificates, and if you have talent and work hard, you can become a personal trainer in almost no time.
Good listener
Once you are a trainer, you will meet women who require help with various aspects of their bodies. While you are doing this work, you will chat to them about all the subjects that interest them, even the subjects that bore them, such as their husbands. Very soon, you will find that the women are sharing all sorts of secrets with you that you did not think possible.
Soon after that, you will have gained a woman's confidence and you can suggest private tuition to work on specific details of her fitness program.
At no time during this build-up phase should you ask to borrow or be given money. We are not beggars. When the woman trusts us, and when she sees we do an excellent job, she will heap money upon us. We will not need to ask for it.
Make good money
I have found that if I have 10 women clients, I can make a significant amount of money over and above my salary. With some of the women you will be strictly professional, with others you will find they require help of a more intimate kind.
Once you are at the level of providing intimate assistance to a lady, you have climbed Mount Everest and arrived at your destination. You no longer require help from me, but will be well on your way to building a comfortable life in America.
Brothers, I wish you all the luck in the world!
By Kolo Alan Toure
The stuff of life
Love life: How often do married couples have sex? » Can sex ever be fun again? » Recovering from the agony of divorce » Will a married man leave his wife for a lover? » How to impress a girlfriend »
Fitness: How to help a loved one lose weight
Mind games: Passive aggressive wife is wrecking marriage » Rage, mania, and depression »
